Tips on How to Survive Long Distance Relationship

8:42 AM Mayen Acebron 0 Comments

Note: This post originally appeared on my old site on October 26, 2015
I told my husband the other night that I want to write how to survive long distance relationship on my blog and I want his input on the matter. I told him that I think we can provide useful information that would help other couples to survive long distance relationship like we did.
We’ve been in long distance relationship for more than five years. My husband left to work abroad when we were in our 3rd year as boyfriend and girlfriend. We got married after 4 years into LDR then he left again to work for another year. Until finally, enough is enough and we decided to end the long distance relationship in 2015.
Experiencing first-hand the joy (yes there’s joy to LDR) and difficulty of long distance relationship made me and my husband credible to provide information on how to survive long distance relationship to aid others who are still fighting the battle. I want to let them know that they too can win, especially if they are committed enough and if they are with the right partner.
Here are 7 tips on how to survive long distance relationship.
1. Put God in the center of your relationship because He will guide you every step of the way. There will be times when you will feel like you are running out of LDR booster but if you have God on your side He will fill it up so you can continue to move forward and fight your battle. Actually, any battle in your life, that’s how generous and loving our God is.
2.  Have a strong level of commitment. Yes! I know this sounds very basic but still important don’t you think? Unless you are fully committed to LDR, both you and your partner are doom to fail. There are many challenges awaits your relationship and you two need to have that strong level of commitment to survive otherwise, save yourself the trouble and end the relationship now. It is also important to discuss your commitment to your partner and find out if both of you are on the same page. I suggest you lead your partner to this page so he can read this too.
3. Brush-up you communication skills and start expressing your thoughts with your partner. I know few couples who do not communicate well with each other even though they are not in long distance relationship. If you are in LDR, you have to brush up your communication skills and start opening up to your partner.
My husband can easily show his affection with his actions but he’s not really good with words. When we get into long distance relationship I encouraged him to say what he feels and requested him to be more expressive. When you are on LDR, you no longer have the privilege to communicate your love by means of body language like caressing, kissing or holding each other’s hands. Communicating your love for each other relies on words, either in written or spoken form. Whichever way you choose, make sure you write/say the appropriate words. Your goal is to make you partner happy and feel secure of your love. Words can do wonders in your relationship so make sure you use the sweetest ones.
I personally love to receive sweet messages from my husband and vice versa. When I feel sad or uncertain I read back his words and I’ll feel reassured. You have no idea how powerful your love letters/messages are, so use them wisely.
4. Give each other some time to breath. Just like in a normal relationship, LDR couple also needs some time “away from each other” to do other things like hanging out with family and friends or focus on their hobbies. It does not imply that because you are not together physically you need to constantly check one another every hour.
During the first few months in long distance relationship, my husband and I talked over Skype every single day. It was okay for the first few months but after several years into long distance relationship, we learned the importance of giving each other time to breathe. When you and your partner overdo video call, sometimes it will feel like an obligation rather than something you really want to do. You don’t want to end up staring at each other on the screen because you run out of words to say. Personally, I hate those moments because it bores me to death and that’s also when I begin to recent being in LDR.
Don’t be afraid to give each other space from time to time. Give yourselves chance to miss each other.  Spend your free time doing the things you love; read a book, go out with friends or simply stay home and have a long bath. I guarantee you, when it’s time for you and your partner to talk again, you’ll feel excited and you’ll have something new to talk about.
5. Make sure that the distance is only temporary. One secret on how to survive long distance relationship is to have hope that someday you and your partner will be together again for better or for worst. Without that, your relationship will soon become meaningless and you will feel less and less motivated to make the relationship work. So you and your partner need to agree as to how long you are going to be apart.
My husband decided to work abroad so that we can save money for our wedding. We thought that two years would be enough to achieve our initial plan. However, things didn’t work out as planned. Along the way, we decided that he needs to stay for few more years so we can save for emergency fund, buy the things we want/need and still have extra on top of that. It was not easy to make those decisions. It breaks my heart all the time.  But in the end, we always make peace with our decisions and continue to move forward and hope that we will be together soon.
6. Visit each other as often as possible. For most long distance relationship involving OFW (Overseas Filipino Workers), it’s not easy to just come home whenever they want to. They need to wait for certain years to be able to come home while others decide not to come home entirely because they want to save their airfare money to buy something else.  Although that’s understandable, it’s not always helpful for the relationship. It’s still best to come home as often as possible so you can spend time with your partner physically.  Nothing beats good old cuddling and kissing to ignite your passion for each other
My husband’s company only provides free plane tickets every two years to their employees but he comes home every year anyway. Yes, we paid for his plane tickets on certain years but it’s all worth it. The time we spent together during those years were precious and we really value each time we get an opportunity to be together. The time we spent together wasn’t always enough but it’s better than nothing.
7. Trust your partner and be worthy of your partner’s trust.If you don’t trust your partner then you are not fit to embark in long distance relationship. Same goes if you are not worthy of your partner’s trust.  When you are in LDR it is easy to doubt your partner because you don’t get to see them all the time. You don’t know the people they’re dealing with every day. It’s easy to become paranoid and think that he/she might cheat on you at the sight of a good-looking co-worker. But if you trust your partner those sorts of thoughts will not affect you as much. You’ll have the presence of mind to think rationally and give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Have you been in long distance relationship? Do you have any useful tip on how to survive long distance relationship? Please share!

Talk to you soon! Thanks for being here!


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